The Life and Trials of an HBD Girl

{May 19, 2011}   Don’t Go to College

A must watch and share documentary for any high school students or college students you know via The Dream Lounge. It discusses the underlying reasons for the inflationary costs of college education since the 1970s — gov’t intervention through  student loans and the resulting increase in corporatism in the higher education industry. It’s made by the folks at National Inflation Association which is promoting their stock-picking newsletter and promoting buying of metals. Their stock-picking sounds scammy to me, but the other than that most of the content in this video rings true and did a good job with narrative and the graphics.

Just reinforcing my reasons for being a proponent of unschooling, self-education and non-credentialism.

Another great article and interview related to this topic from Penelope Trunk is “Best Alternative to Grad School.”


Life has been quieter ever since I found my HBD-Boy, that special somebody for whom I was searching. And it all happened so quickly after I started my blog!

When I started “The Life and Trials of an HBD Girl” back in August, I thought I would have endless fodder for blog articles based on my previous year of dating, especially with those dastardly liberal men. Fortunately for me my dating life has become much more serene and fulfilling. Albeit, less interesting for my blog readers.

Now, that I’m feeling a bit more stable in that area of my life, I’m revisiting my other goals. One of them pertaining to my career.

Although I hope to be a stay-at-home homeschooling mom in the future (next 2-5 years), I know that I now have some time to save up money for a home, family, wedding, travel and various other projects.  In order to help me along that path I’m refocusing my efforts on my freelancing career.

For me freelancing is a means working wherever and whenever I want. My goal statement: To have a “freedom” career which uses my skills and interests as much as possible and will give me interesting intellectual challenges.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been developing my offerings and redefining my target audience in more detail so that I can better market my services to prospects. Quite a challenge to put myself in my prospect’s mindset.

In the past week, I was also able secure a spot at an conference. I was talking to the organizer of the event over the phone, discussing my background and current field — marketing my expertise to his conference audience. He ended up offering me a speaking slot for the event. Exciting!

However during the conversation we ended up talking about politics. He mentioned something about how even though he liked Obama’s social policies he didn’t like how he was performing as President. He said “Ron Paul would have done a better job…” but in the next breath he said, “But I do think it was the right time for a black President.”

I bit my tongue and said nothing. How many times have I heard guys and girls utter inanities of this sort. Too many. What does that statement mean really?

How do y’all handle these social/professional situations? I figure it’s better just to say nothing than get into any deep political or philosophical discussion.

In David Hume’s Essay “Of the Study of History” he recommends that men purchase for their women books on history to encourage them to learn about realism instead of living in the world of romantic fantasy.

Among other important truths, which they may learn from history, they may be informed of two particulars, the knowledge of which may contribute very much to their quiet and repose; That our sex, as well as theirs, are far from being such perfect creatures as they are apt to imagine, and, That Love is not the only passion, which governs the male-world, but is often overcome by avarice, ambition, vanity, and a thousand other passions.

Hume sees the benefits of the study of history as  “it amuses the fancy, as it improves the understanding, and as it strengthens virtue.” Plus as a woman that follows “Girl Game” it only adds to your value.

A woman may behave herself with good manners, and have even some vivacity in her turn of wit; but where her mind is so unfurnished, ’tis impossible her conversation can afford any entertainment to men of sense and reflection.

As an undergrad I studied the post-Civil War history of the U.S. as well as the history of other regions (some European focusing on world wars and on Eastern regions.) One area that I still lack knowledge in is ancient Greek and Roman history to my chagrin.

Personally, I’m interested in learning more about the history of the conservative movement, the rise of fascism in early 20th Century, and also world history (historical events/time periods that spanned many continents) and ways that movements of people (immigration) may have effected societies.

Are there any good history books that you can recommend to me, my dear readers? Or ones that you would gift to friends this holiday season?

I highly recommend Hayek’s “Capitalism and the Historians” for further knowledge on the benefits of capitalism during the Industrial Revolution. This book discusses the connection between politics and history and the anti-capitalism bias of historians. In the second portion he goes through the history of the industrial revolution.

It’s a small book and it’s easy to get through, plus I think it’d be eye-opening to folks that believe our school textbooks which only highlighted the problems during that time period.

Will be keeping up with this new blog on how a guy can apply PUA tactics to maintain that “sizzle” in a long term relationship. You should too!

{November 6, 2009}   Defeatism in the HBDsphere

I’m glad that OneSTDV pointed out the defeatist attitude growing in the blogosphere.  Although I like keeping up with many of their blogs, I see that the attitude can be quite common.

My hypothesis is that perhaps blogging about HBD issues all the time can taint ones mind, making them self-defeatist?

Personally, I’ve been enjoying life too much — finding love (in new relationship with a HBD-guy) lately to be blogging. Hopefully, those HBDers on the blogosphere are finding some playfulness in life and ways to make positive changes around them.

Firstly, by finding a worthy mate and working towards the goal of starting a family…


Regarding JC’s comment on my last blog post on “Serendipity” he called me a fickle creature. I brushed it off at first, but now he’s replied with a Roissyism:

[Fickleness] is a girly trait and a symptom of over-estrogenation, but it’s one of womankind’s blatant weaknesses, and should not be encouraged. Just as manly men are prone to the weaknesses of masculinity (war, violence) womanly women are prone to the weaknesses of femininity (indecisiveness, fickleness).

But when I actually went to the referring blog post called “The Perfect Woman” and read Roissy’s laundry list and also his more touching essay. These sections stood out describing a “perfect woman” :

…she understands the spirit of living in the moment and putting aside inconsequential worries, if she never once complains about her sneakers getting muddy or the rain messing up her hair, if she HAS PERSPECTIVE… then she is one step nearer perfection.

The perfect woman improvises. If things don’t go her way she won’t bitch and moan; she’ll discover new enjoyment in change. Her will is strong, but not straitjacketed.

Which encapsulates my previous post on Serendipity and what I’m looking for in a guy. Someone that can understand and appreciate living life in the moment and who has the ability to adapt in a positive way.

So, it seems like JC totally misunderstands the meaning of serendipity or is perhaps just trying to “neg” me.

What JC sees as fickleness – is really playful spontaneity, joie de vivre, and curiosity about  life – trying to seek the truth.  Maybe JC can expound more on his thinking process on how he determined that those qualities make a person especially “fickle” and how I, HBD Girl, emulate those qualities.

I guess someone like JC can see only the negative side of playfulness and serendipity — which takes a certain “je ne sais quoi.” Actually I’d call it “rigidity.” Remaining rigid in your beliefs (dogmatic) and not wanting to learn from other points of views would be a sad existence. It’s also not a great way to adapt to waves of life we are given.

The more playful curious side of me allowed me to become interested in the ideas of HBD. It was quite a stretch to push my PC-side (and I’ll admit resistance at first) but ultimately I have an unquenchable curiosity for getting closer to the truth about our world — this is what led me to explore the HBD viewpoint.

There is ying and yang in life. We all live along the spectrum of rigidity-flexibility in our lives. Some live more on the far rigid side (maybe more men as JC hypothesizes) and others on the far flexible side.  A tall bamboo, which is strong and sturdy, also sways in the wind — if it didn’t it would end up breaking with the winds. Likewise, a bamboo needs to have some structure to hold its shape, otherwise it would be floppy and not be able to reach for the sunlight. I hope that I never become rigid in my ways and happy with the status quo. I want to be growing, morphing and changing, and challenging myself. I will also carry my ideas and values that provide structure to my life.

Learn to be here in the present. Embrace what you have right now, be it your friends, your family, your health, or anything else. Make the most of the opportunities you’ve been given, and don’t take your mind for granted. Continue to grow and to create new neural pathways in your brain. Don’t shut yourself off from exploring more in life, from meeting new people, from becoming more engaged in this world. Live life to its fullest as a human being.



{September 24, 2009}   A Life of Serendipity

From Scott Berkun’s blog:

The real story is most people, most of the time, choose not to see. Choose not to take the road less traveled, whether it’s online or in town. Any lack of serendipity or excitement in life, a complaint people have had in the western world for centuries, falls firmly on our own shoulders and not in the designs of man made things of any age. And of course nothing in this is a binary choice. You can always turn things off, or turn them on, and re-experience the thing you’ve forgotten. We often overlook the odd, surprising joy of doing something you used to love: is it how you remember it? Was, like the cassette tape, it ever as good as you remember to be? Their can be serendipity in returning to things from your own past, and bringing your open mind along for the ride.

I’m not sure how this quote relates to my blog except that I really like it.  I aim to always appreciate serendipity in my life  — and I think the best way to do that is to remain playfully spontaneous.

Ideally, I would like to be with someone that approaches life in the same way. And who might just put in an old mix cassette tape in his stereo to take a trip down memory lane.  Last night I did just that. Jamming and singing along to 90s BritPop music: Pulp, Texas, Dubstar, The Smiths, etc. Fun times.

{September 20, 2009}   Back from my interlude

Life has been hectic lately with my many social and athletic activities and with the new non-HBD boy.

Unfortunately, I’m not sure how things are going with this new relationship. I’m afraid I might’ve jumped the gun in resolving to commit to him so early on.

Right now I’m waiting in his apartment for him to return from watching NFL highlights with his friends when I was expecting to be sharing a nice dinner with him after being apart this  entire weekend.

This may just be a misunderstanding on both parts, so  I should bring this up with him tonight.

As far as compatibility with him in my politically incorrect and free-market views, I’m still trying to bring that in slowly. There is quite a big gap since he labels himself as a pro-business Democrat (supporter of Obama).

Recently when I delved into what he thought wealth was, how it was created in society, or the proper role of government I received really long-winded responses that never pinned him down. Instead he gave a Socratic-like answer which was full of more questions.  For me, it’s incredibly frustrating since I’m a straight-forward gal that dislikes long-windedness that has no direction.

On an another note thanks to all of you for contributing so many comments to my new blog. I really do want to address the question from Patrick  about what being “HBD” means for me and more issues, but at this moment I don’t have the energy nor am I in the right mindset to tackle those questions.

What great conversations are being had on OneSTDV‘s comment section!

I particularly like “silly girl’s” recent comment regarding whether a desireable trad man would choose an accomplished career woman over a 18 year-old college girl. And how a woman may feel the need to be more accomplished in her career/life before she can get a good mate.

That question has me thinking a lot on my drives to and from work. Reminiscining what I was like at the age 18 or even 21, fresh out of college unsure of myself and lacking the confidence that I have now.  I remember feeling at the time that all I wanted was to be with the man I loved (my first serious boyfriend at the time) and to help him in his career. This despite the fact that he was moving back to his country halfway across the world.

Mostly I was so damn scared of what the real world was going to bring and whether I could survive and thrive in it. It felt much safer to take a supporting role to him and have my life revolve around his successes.

Yes, my eggs were fresher, but as you can see there was so much about me that wasn’t yet formed yet. Areas that really needed to be worked on — which I did over the past decade.

Sometimes I wish I met the right guy when I was a lot younger and had children by now, but with the benefit of hindsight and the bias of having lived a full and interesting life I wouldn’t go back.

I took a windy career path, following my interest or values wherever possible, living in different cities/coasts, accepting challenging and rewarding jobs and not being happy with the status quo. I changed careers and jobs quite a few times like most people in my generation, each time figuring out my strengths and weaknesses and also the needs of the market. Eventually this led me to a position that helped me attain national recognition in my field and is allowing me to do what I love — and giving me the possibility of making it on my own with a consulting practice.

My intellectual journey has also been a bit of a whirlwind trip. As an undergrad at one of the top-rated universities in the U.S. , I was indoctrinated early on to the left, which included racism against whites/degradation of  the achievements of Asians, moving on to Communism with my interest in int’l development, and a myriad of other views.

It was only while I was abroad after college and away from the influence of college professors that I started my own exploration of free markets, libertarianism, and Objectivism. Luckily I had the fortune of having jobs that allowed me to explore those ideas further (Austrian economics, anaracho capitalism, monetary policy, HBD, etc.)  and to become connected to some major thinkers in the movement.

This windy and maybe less efficient journey has led me to where I am now — writing this “stupid blog” about being an HBD Girl, and working out my thoughts on the role my values and philosophies will play in the selection of a mate.  From experience I know that life isn’t black and white (ahem, no pun intended) — instead it runs in shades of grey.  I think I’ll find that there are areas where I’m willing to compromise in order to find that really awesome guy that will give me children and be my life partner.

So, would a HBD/trad man pick me over an 18 year old? Who knows and who cares…. it doesn’t matter since I’m happy with the life I’ve lived and I feel like a better person for what I’ve lived through. In terms of what accomplishment means for me? Well, I think it’s about the journey that you choose to take, whether you’ve chosen to pursue your dreams and challenge yourself to blaze your own trail or whether you followed a life plan dictated by someone else never taking risks. I think accomplishment is also about know where you’ve come from, where you are now and where you want to go. In those ways I feel I’ve made it. Children and a family are in the future for me and luckily I know what my goal is and I have multiple strategies in place to get there.

If a man isn’t looking for a confident and accomplished woman and instead only values youthfulness then he’s not the one for me.  Yay for the bias of self-selection!

If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you may have noticed that I am taking social dance lessons. It has been one of those dreams of mine since I was in high school.

My friends know me to be a passionate solo-dancer at modern dance clubs (not meat market hip-hop places, but alternative/indie/electronic music). I’m quick with my foot moves and usually catch admiring glances when I’m out there cutting the rug. On the dance floor, I’ve met a couple of boyfriends, one relationship lasting 2 years and another for 6 months or so.

In my 20s, dance clubs were a fabulous place to meet suitors but going to clubs as a 30 year old is probably not the best way to find a marriageable partner. Most of the prospects at modern dance clubs are below my minimum age limit. I still love dancing to indie-electro music, but I have to face the facts and move from dance clubs to social dances in order to meet the right guy.

Switching to social dancing is not such a difficult plight for me. I’ve always loved watching ballroom dancing (tango, swing, lindy-hop and others). I embrace athletic activities and I can’t wait to move/swing/sway around the dance floor flaunting my “evolutionary-fitness” and meeting equally fit men. :)

Recently, in my quest to convert to this style of dance (as quickly as possible) I searched on Craigslist for a private instructor. Found a good deal and a good instructor who is training me in a variety of social dances which are building me up to and developing knowledge base for swing dancing — the ultimate dance I want to learn.

Currently, I’m constantly practicing around my house; you might even catch me somewhere standing in a grocery line or waiting at a street corner for a stop light practicing my triple steps.  My lessons are going well, I’m at my 10th one and I’m getting those basic steps down and learning to land my turns better.

Besides learning to become a better social dancer, I’ve found that my dance lessons have been very good mental model for male-female relationships.

An aspect of social dancing that you might appreciate as a trad guy is the importance the lead and follow.

In social dance, leading is all about confidence and leadership.  Leading isn’t done forcefully by pushing or pulling but more subtly with a small flick of the wrist or slight pressure to a partner’s hand, back, hip or whatever connection point there is. This subtleness demonstrates that the man has confidence that his partner will follow; and he isn’t second-guessing himself.

I think that there are lots of positive feedback loops happening while dancing. As a follower I start to trust my lead more if he sends clear signals about where he wants me to go next and if I know he’s not going to run me into another couple or obstacle.

If I show him that I trust him, he will also enjoy leading more and I will feel more relaxed knowing that he’s taking the lead. But this doesn’t mean that the man should be over-controlling (esp not in swing) and try to spin his partner around a turn —  not trusting that she can do it herself. A good leader will give the woman some freedom to move since it shows your confidence as a leader and also gives her the room to move around more playfully and in a feminine way to make her partner look great.

Anyways, social dance seems like a great way to apply ideas about the nature of men and women– a microcosm of the power dynamics of a male-female relationship  (each dance displaying a different flavor along that continuum of power.) Personally, I’m learning to be more responsive and to try to not anticipate the lead and trust my partner. I know that I have much to learn in dancing and also male-female relationship dynamics, but i’m looking forward to that journey.

Hoping to start hitting the social dance scene soon and meeting potential partners that can take the lead on the dance floor and off.

As an HBD guy have you given social dancing a try? If so, what was your experience like?

Fun Related Article:

Why Men Won’t Dance — evolutionary reasons for dancing among men and women.

et cetera